Monday Mets: The Perfect GM

Amongst the litany of baseball’s unwritten rules is one that suggests that major team announcements should not be made during the World Series by teams other than those who are actually in the World Series. So, even though teams throughout baseball are making significant front office decisions, and even though we seem to find out news before it even happens these days, most of this information will be filed in the “Worst Kept Secret” folder until sometime early this week.

So, it now appears all but official that the Mets have hired Brodie Van Wagenen to be the team’s new General Manager and head of baseball operations. Early reviews by sportswriters and fans don’t seem to be terribly optimistic. Van Wagenen has as much front office experience as at least 99% of the people who will read this, as he has spent his entire baseball-related career as an agent, so the rampant skepticism is understandable.

Before we rip apart the Wilpons for their choice of GM, let’s not forget that this is not necessarily a job that every potential candidate would want to take on. More importantly, when the Mets seemed to be looking into more traditional GM options, fans and writers alike were shouting for a more outside the box approach.

This reminded me of an early scene in the movie “Mary Poppins”, in which Mr. Banks advertises for a stern, no-nonsense nanny, while the children write their own ad for a more kind option in a song called “The Perfect Nanny”.

It’s in that spirit, and with nothing but apologies to the Sherman Brothers, that I present my take, “The Perfect GM”…

If you want this choice position

Be the one for we’ve been wishin’

This job has some warts

More than most in sports


I hope for your sake that you’re witty

New York can be quite a tough city

We appreciate a winning feat

Too much losing means dead meat


Fans and media can be quite cruel

Like unkind bullies in grade school

But they’ll love you like a son or daughter

If you can make wine from this water


If you don’t let teams dominate us

You’ll be granted a higher status

We won’t complain about you

on the internets

If we see you around town

We’ll scream Lets Go Mets!

We’re rooting for you.


Mets Fans